The thought of dependence on someone remote and variable makes you feel so helpless and handicapped. The things obvious to you are termed weird and the weirdest of all things somehow fall right in to the realm of normalcy. The incessant efforts to bring you back to chores is seen as a frown that you carried all day because the thought process supersedes all efforts to put up a brave front. Suddenly the fallibility of your chosen path of success dawns upon and very treacherously the disappointment creeps into the cerebrum. Suddenly, contingency impetus gets emphasized and the short film of lack of efforts starts projecting on the closed eyelids. Optimism changes its definition subtly to 'hope against hope'. The pain has to borne by the self. But then you long for someone to just hear it out and not say a single word and give you the biggest assurance through your eyes!!!!!!!