Life is your version of the illusion called situation. You have to don different masks to see the realms of life unfold and collate them all to get close to what we call GOD and what I call the 'truth'.
Target: Raid De Tiger Point Mission: Bolt Operation: Secure target and report to base. NO casualty allowed. Absolutely not. No Weapons.
0600 hrs
- Ready to leave safe house. Pickup point 25kms away.
- I start my red devil and zoom
0700 hrs
- Pickup is at the stroke of the hour – perfect timing. The Transporter HK is raring to go.
0800 hrs
- Meeting point – Café Infinito
- Co-agents introduction – Sanjay and Purujeet
0900 hrs
- Bacon and chicken sausages with fruit juices and yummy sandwiches (You need to stuff yourself up to think straight in crunch situations)
1000 hrs
- Mission Brief
o Task one – conquer the DOTS
o Task two – beat the sun
o Task three – burn the tarmac
o Task four – get a cooler and get back to base!
1100 hrs
- The CAR
o A bright red Tata Bolt. (If James Bond swears by the Aston Martin, just because it is British, it has Tata for me. Not that I cannot get a Jaguar – Yes, its Indian now – blending in with the crowd would be much easier with so many Tata cars on the road!)
- The Equipment
Well, the list is long, really long but here are some highlights
Revotron – the first petrol turbocharged engine developed by an Indian manufacturer
Voice Command with Touch Screen Entertainment – I am a secret agent and to do a trillion things when I am driving, I need the car to listen to me! So, I got Harman-Kardon to custom build one!
Corner Stability Control – I am going to be driving like a mad man most of the times trying to save the world. Commoners get 8th-gen but I have a 9th-gen ABS with EBD with a bit of special assistance through corners to ensure that I do not have to worry about making the turn while saving the world.
1200 hrs
- Task One – We ran around the dusty cones trying to find traction on the withered soil, baked to the core by the blaring sun on to the hurdle. While we braced ourselves to avoid being tossed around in the car, Purujeet made a mockery of the dots making us look like fools as we glided across the hurdles.
1300 hrs
- Task Two – We had to drive a 100 kilometers on an exceptionally hot summer afternoon. You could almost cook an omelet without even a magnifying glass. But the HVAC engineers have pulled a rabbit out of the hat, just like the suspension engineers. With no tints to save us, the cabin mercury levels never got a chance to shoot. The ride was so comfortable that I actually thought we were doing 60 when we were actually doing 80. *cough*120*cough*beyond speedlimits*cough
1400 hrs
- The essential F&B break. Time to hydrate yourself for the daunting task three. The food was sumptuous. A morsel more and I would have forgotten the mission!
1500 hrs
- Task Three – I take the Revotron. I had only heard about it, but nothing prepared me to come to terms with what it really was. The first Indian turbo petrol is a gem. There would be many who would point out its shortcomings – the foremost being economy – which is true – but, the way this engine behaves, is a revelation. You keep the tacho needle a tad above 1500 and you are at the sweet spot. Till 4500, the car is just going to add oodles of power. Yes it has a sport mode which has all the magic. The Economy mode, as most Indians would prefer using, though, is not really tragic. In terms of performance –no – you expect the car to be mellow but economy – yes- it is a bit tragic. The diesel in this regard is the perfect buy for the lousy Indian car buyer. Just enough power to lug you around and loads of miles per drops of a gallon!
- I revved the petrol hard, gunning through the winding roads with two of my co-agents and a damsel (no she wasn’t in distress) holding on to dear life trying to force a smile on their faces just not to possibly offend me in case I may decide to go even faster.
- Reached the vantage point. The tiger covered! No casualties. Just passed under the radar!
A video posted by High On Throttle Customs (@godsentevil) on
1600 hrs
- We stopped for a cooler. Time to split and bid adios to my co-agents. And yes the damsel too!
- Well, until the next time! Mission impossible is just too cliché!
It was a Sunday well spent at #BoltDrives with the Bolt, the brand new hatch from Tata Motors in association in our good friends – Blogadda. The car looks fresh and new but carries over the legacy of the legendary Indica in terms of humungous cabin space. But the best part is what it doesn’t carry is the lack of refinement, NVH and bad handling and poor interiors. The new car defines the new ideology of Tata Motors where they plan to build cars that are well built, good to look at and nice to drive and luxurious to be driven in!
दिल मे लगी आग को बुझाओगे कैसे? होंठों के बीच अंगारो को, पैरो तले जैसे? वक़िफ़ तो है हुम अप्ने मुक़द्दर से मगर, बसे इस जेहेन मे सिकन्दर को, मिटाओगे कैसे? कोशिशे कि लाखो, पर नैय्या कभी लगी ही नही, जिस किनारे घर हमारा बना हो जैसे. वो साहिल हि था, जो दरिया से दरिया ले चलता हमे, के बवंडरो से कश्मकश हि थी जिन्दगी जैसे!
Poetry is that lucky emotion to find words to express
itself. Not that I am a great poet or something, but the words above have just
been put together by yours truly.
So sad is the back drop of this story that I sometimes
wonder how badly depressed I am. Meet the Speedosopher, the guy who is
excellent in giving unnecessary gyan because probably that is the only thing he
thinks will not fail! I had written about ‘the Rock Bottom’ before and no
Dwayne Johnson has anything to do with it. It was then, when I was trying to
mask my depression under the mask of thought.
But then what is the point in hiding! My life, my
depression, my fucking choice! It has been quite some time that I have been
trying to do things right for a change and it turns out that I am digging my
own bloody grave. We all have been taught that doing the right thing will
always make you happy. But the truth is, fuck my lord, it doesn’t.
That is because – here is the crux – you can not define the ‘right
thing’. The right thing, by virtue of its definition, is that deed which when
done would probably make the stake holders of your life think you are not going
to the dogs yet! Reminds me of ‘Sadda Haq’ – what an amazing composition by AR
Rahman – getting the emotions out of the noted perfectly!
I am no politician. I believe in doing things the right way
and it doesn’t matter if the thing is wrong in the first place. If I have
chosen to do it, it has to be precariously planned and ruthlessly executed. Well,
this brings me to my professional life. Well, I am lucky enough to find a
workplace that seems to be awesome and the job that I do feels super awesome. I
guess it is the excess of ‘awesomeness’, like Barney says, is screwing things
up. I may be wrong, but from where I stand, I see a lot of disparity in the
responsibility vs authority matrix. I thought the two years I was wasted in
MBA, were a complete waste but no! Mistaking accountability for
micro-management and trying to measure everything are the two biggest mistakes
one can do and if that gets drilled down as a culture in a growing organization,
it’s a disaster in the making.
But, fuck that. That is not what is bothering me the most
now. Is it not super awesome when you get hired for a role where well, you will
have to figure out what you would do. Take my word, it is the worst thing that
could ever happen to you. Because, you can not tread on to any one’s closely
guarded territories unless your appointment letter says so, neither can you
expect a good appraisal because they were always so many things you could do.
And when you have friends like mine, well, I will have to wish you the best of
luck twice over.
But fuck that too. That’s not again the point. After years
of doing the right things, trusting the good in people, I still am stuck. I have a rusted
motorcycle, my car is in shambles, I haven’t been on the road with no chut
telling me to slow down and at the end of it, I don’t even have money in my
bank. I am tired of living a good life.
I am tired of doing the right things. I am tired of being what I am – a foolish
wreck. But the best part of this is, if I break away right now – hell would break
loose. Not that I fear it, but somehow I have got used to avoid it.
ढुंढते रहे वजूद, अनजनी उन लेहेरो मे, आके कोइ बतलाएगी आशियने का पता जैसे!
Tick tock tick tock tick tock.
PS:
Do not expect me to thank you for the sympathy or empathy or whatever, I don’t need
any of those. This is my shit, my choice!
