Sunday, February 14, 2016

Why #IAmCapable is not feminist?

We, in this modern age of easy access to information and opinions, have come a long way from what we all were a decade back. Ignorance and illiteracy had kept us away from what happened on the other side of the globe. With social media now offering internet as Free Basics, the web has spread deep amongst us. The question is – are we mature enough to grasp the gist of the trends that are catching up.

Feminism, in my very frank opinion, is one of such trends. There are no two ways about the much needed gender equality, absolutely not. But feminism is not gender equality. In fact, in my opinion, feminism has done more bad than good in the case of gender equality. Feminism is exactly what is wrong with Deepika Padukone’s video or Priyanka Chopra saying ‘I need a man only for the sperm’.

I see the poor side of feminism in every relationship I come across. Let us take the case of marriages. The ladies want a man that is successful, rich, older and taller and can take good care of the lady. This is totally acceptable and if the girl is pretty, that can be her only achievement in life for such demand. But if a guy says I am looking for a girl who earns more than me, is fairer and an inch taller than me – he is labelled a loser, gold-digger, a good for nothing twat.

I see women justifying reservations for them, a bogie in the locals, seats on the bus, education and what not. Yes, it is a male dominated society and we guys can’t help because we are born into it. And if you ask for reservation, you are going to be looked down upon because you get it without deserving it. We all hail Darwin for his theory of evolution and the theory of survival of the fittest. We use it to add weight to our arguments at the high teas, the card clubs and the kitty parties. But we fail to understand what lies beneath.

Survival of the fittest is the nature’s law for self-improvement. It means that the weaker species or weaklings in a species are wiped off the radar so that the world grows into a fitter tomorrow. If we ask for reservation, the first thing we give out is the lack of ability. And then if you talk about equality you can imagine what kind of a hypocrite you turn yourself into. The women today can very much run conglomerates and probably in a better way. But this is not a game of one-upmanship for the genders. This game of one-upmanship has been running since forever and the results are here to be seen.

The want to prove that you are at par itself defies the claim of being equal. The equality has to be felt within and not spoken or written about. If you feel inferior, that is not because of physical ability but more of a mental block. Men feel inferior to other men and even women too and that may be because of stature, status, personality, strength or ability. And if a woman feels inferior, there has to be one of these reasons only. Attributing it to one’s gender makes you more sexist than you can think.  

The idea of feminism should ideally be replaced by individuality. You have to fight for your own sake, take your own decisions and make your own roads. Blaming your generation older parents or society will not help you anyway. They have been brought up that way and the change you want will not happen overnight. The mentalities will change over generations. And imbibing individuality in the coming generations will turn fare much better than feminism.

Imagine your kids learning ‘We all are equal’ and ‘Women are as capable as men’. Your choice here will define our future, the future that #IAmCapable wants.

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