Blood Shackles

The right to live life on your terms is something that you should be born with. It is okay if I have to be fed, to be held, to be taught till I grow up or when I grow old - but- I still have the right to live my years of independence with my choices.

It becomes even more difficult when the people who 'own' you can not just let go. There is a reason why all these family soaps have run for ages. It is the battle for control, the tactics and the strategies to cripple your target into submission that are formulated, executed and revered.

'Family' - the concept - has its origins to ancient civilization and is still a consequential part of society all over the world. Family, if you go very basic, is group of individuals staying together to help each other survive. Add love, compassion to it and things like rights and duties emerge. Emotions are an integral part of the human psychology and hence with more emotions into the mix, the complications multiply.

The definition of Family has changed over the years due to continual exposure to this deadly mixture of complicated emotions called relations. This has led to concepts of moral liability or emotional ownership that in turn have made this cordial in-habitation a ghastly affair. 

The individualism has been lost in this congregation of egos and expectations. The identities have either been lost or are so blurred that 'identity-crisis' sounds like a primordial definition. These people with identities in 'no-man's-land' are highly susceptible to influence -good or bad. 

The solution to this is not breaking the shackles and walking away. Giving back the help you got when you were incapable is your moral responsibility and you can not shrink away from it. The catch here is having the choice to give it back in the way you prefer!

Dribble Drabble Wibble Wobble....... Thud!

Shards of Flesh

The grass seemed greener, the sky blue felt richer, the moon glowed brighter. Everything fell into place. Nothing could go wrong. Being on cloud nine. the universe revolved around a single sun. The abundant mirth of tiny things, the sequence of mischievous winks, the shivers of those tender touches.

What an illusion!!!!

Happiness - FTW 

Happiness is that random fantasy in life created to make you want it, want it so bad that you end up being unhappy for the most part of your life.

What if we could just ignore the existence of happiness? Would that make our life easy?

What is happiness? Happiness for me is the emotion that arises when your expectations are matched by the event. It is that feeling when the people around you match your expected frequency. Happiness is achieving something further than your expectations.

Lord Krishna in his unfathomably deep philosophy ‘Bhagvad Geeta’ says ‘Do your deeds and don’t expect any results’ which kind of matches in here. What if you never expected anything out of anything you did? You could never be unhappy!

So, why should we not fuck this shit and not bother about anything, just do our stuff and leave it all to the so called Almighty to keep the balance skewed!



The Evil Within!

I am not the one you thank
I am not the one you want
I am not the one you think
I am not the one you wish
I am not the one you dream
I am not the one you feel
I am not the one you love
I am the one who killed your dove!!!

Rock Bottom

There are moments in your life when you want to run away from everything. There are moments when you would be unnoticeable. That you just want to be forgotten like the floods that rocked us a decade back or like the bullets Kasab sprayed. There are these moments when you think you have actually hit rock-bottom.

That brings me to ‘rock-bottom’. How would I define rock-bottom? I don’t really know! Is it something that you reach when you have failed miserably or is it something that you did not account for? Rock bottom, for me, is that ocean trench you never fathom. The deeper you fall every time, you think you have hit the sand and you try and get up and fight back until the next time when you know that this time it is surely deeper.

That is surely depressing. Depression is probably an expression of knowledge that the trench is much deeper than what you thought. And that, according to many ‘gurus’, should be enlightenment. Enlightenment or self-realization, probably, is knowing where exactly you lie amongst the co-ordinates of the universe.

Expression is to exhibit. Exhibitions are to be seen carefully to understand the thought behind the charade. And sometimes the fascia is cleverly painted to work exactly the other way. The mind is a processor of a trillion thoughts at a time. Some are known while most are just there and to be paint one like that, you need to be focused.

Focus is the key that mostly unlocks success. But is it success that keeps you away from hitting rock-bottom? Or is it that you are always on the sand bed, devising criteria in your head that become the ladder you would want to climb out to be a success?

My date with a SuperModel!

I couldn’t sleep that night – I was nervous. I was supposed to spend a good lot of time with this beauty tomorrow. You know you have to prepare a lot for a date and I did not want to goof up for the zillionth time. I know bikers are dim-wits but I was hell bent on getting this one right – you don’t get such chances every other day right?

They said she is bad-ass, but, I still went on reading about her. Frankly, it was seemed as if I was going for a lot more than I could handle. Her very potential and its enormity got to the nerves of even the best – and I am just a mere mortal – a beginner. I needed some sleep. You don’t want to go red-eyed and yawning half through the day. I somehow close my eyes trying to fend away the thoughts. I knew it would be a long tiring day ahead and I should be at my best to even be considered – forget making even an impression.

There she was, dressed in bright sparkling green mixed well with touches of black. Her eyes were big and focused. Her voluptuous curves were to die for and not even the cork-screw¹ could match the mix of their diversity and insanity. Her stance was well spread and planted, just like a predator preparing to pounce. Spell bound at her first sight, I could not decide if I was in awe or love!

I started the day with my poker face – holding my nerves - trying my best not to blow it. Surprisingly, she turned out to be sweet-tempered. Beyond her daunting façade, she was actually very easy to get along. As the day progressed, the grin on my face started getting wider. I was getting in to my element and pushing myself to go further and at the same time probing cautiously. The catch is not to get over-ambitious and rub her the wrong way lest you get thrown out.

But then, I had my set of charms too! Soon, she started loving the way I was treating her. (You have to learn these things over time or you end up alone on some bed²). It is real fun when you meet ‘someone’ new and you know that ‘someone’ is certainly out of your league and you still prod on that treacherous path trying to win over. In spite of a string of failures under my belt, I always look out for another opportunity to get it right.

By the end of the day, I was pretty much there. I knew how far to go (and it wasn’t even getting her miss a beat). I knew I was doing my best as we floated around, cutting through the crowd. I wanted to go unspotted, but then, with someone like her, you are going to get noticed. And when that happened, I absorbed every bit of the lime-light in the most gentlemanly way I could.

It was evening and she had to go back and I could not stop myself from being sad. I was just getting to know her and probably needed some more time (count them in years) to get into her league and I knew we would have a ball together. As I left her, I was engrossed in thoughts – thoughts about life as such (No - I am not going to cry).

Ta-da!!! Happy realization! 

I agree that super-models are something you always aspire to have. But then, what is the point if you cannot savour the company – except that you have something to boast about! (It’s a different case for the ‘experts’). For somebody like me, it would better to date the girl next door while I inch my way up to the ‘expert’ league. I am certain it would be a lot more fun!

PS : All this while I was talking about the lady in green – the Kawasaki ZX14R – the mothership of motorcycles across the globe!

1 – Cork Screw : Laguna Seca

2 – Hospital Bed                     

Altruism : The Beginning of the Doom!

It has been a debate for centuries whether Populist governments are better or Capitalist. There have been a million theories based on economics, statistics or just plain lack of foresight and ability to think (e.g. Indian National Congress).

The basic human nature unlike all animals on the planet, due to his unnecessary intelligence, is to put in just enough effort to push him through the times of difficulty. If something comes easy, we will be the first ones to grab it and n that process even hurt others. The self proclaimed intelligence of the human race has created two kinds of people that live, the one who earns his living and the one who sees to it that he gets fed!

In India, through our well designed education syllabus and its contents, it has been imbibed on our tender minds that Capitalism is Evil and social good is the most selfless and hence the most gratifying act towards God! These socialist ideologies have been systematically inserted by our visionary freedom fighting leaders, thus, building a plinth of corruption and thanklessness in our souls.

Like the Church has slowly and steadily, glorified and justified their versions of Bible and called it the ultimate truth; like the Islamic Hardliners projected every disagreement as a basis of Jihad, like the Hindu priests who twisted caste as birth than skill, the self-proclaimed and projected first family of the country has strategically made M K Gandhi, J N Nehru, Indira Gandhi and now Rajiv Gandhi our national heroes. Anybody even close to gaining more popularity than them has been either killed in mishaps or tried for graft or accused of being communal.

Coming back to the topic, a majority of the people on this planet is of the second type as it is easier being that. In Europe and West, the monarchs were strong and wise. They were people of ability and will. They imbibed the win your own bread culture by keeping everybody under their leash.

In India, the leaders of the Independent state, were never the people of merit. The people of true merit had been precariously shunted or distanced. The epicentre of Satyagraha is to win the pity by self inflicted helplessness and to build a nation on such downtrodden principles has led slide of the country of riches.

The socialist policies of the nation have tried to ensure security of Roti, Kapda and Makaan to the common man leaving him to find only one thing for himself - sex! The nations perception of the fairer sex as an instrument of fulfilling sexual appetite has its roots there. We raise a hue and cry about women development and gender equality and at the same time, we use our sexes to our advantage as much as possible. The sense of security has made us so careless that we have stopped thinking about the securities of others.

Today, India has taken a step further towards its grave! The Food Security Bill and the Rural Employment Guarantee schemes are going to create a lazy, good for nothing and hence a sexually starved young India so that we get to see a Nirbhaya every now and then!

Sleeping Tom

Now that I have been a part of the 'Corporate World' for almost an year now, I had expected my life and my worries to change dramatically with the money flowing in the thousands. Well I have to agree that the worries have changed and multiplied, the thousands of rupees are a mirage and the dreams that seemed just across the road, have suddenly moved away light years.
            Dreams se yaad aaya... Ohhh Somnus.. my friend and my foe.
Its been two decades since I started taking effective cognizance of my surroundings and I must say you have always been just around the corner. I have always taken pride in our friendship and enjoyed every moment it. You are the secret to my energy and cheerfulness. I owe you the peace of my life.
            But Dude... I think you should give me some space. Man it is really awkward when you are around, especially after the sun passes over my head. I just cannot ignore you when you are around but that makes me look like a lone duck in the middle of a lake i.e. cant go unnoticed.
I am really sorry to hurt you but we can have a good time when the Sun is beyond my vision. I promise to be your best friend for ever. Just help me through this.

the Scandal

It is very difficult to be yourself when you are a person with a passion to live for, guts to take the plunge, madness to not turn back living under the roof of old fashioned ideology. Passion becomes a means to waste time, guts are seen as immaturity and madness as plain foolishness. Can't live with it, neither can let it go.
It could have been a lot easier being that unambitious guy scraping his way to office everyday cutting through the hordes. It seems a lot easy to be happy with the 10% pay hike at the end of the year and a namesake position after two. a small house with a kid and a car in the parking completes the dream story.
Why can not everyone live such a simple life? Why long for those dreams who drain you by the time you achieve them well past when you wanted them or u just hit the end of the road even before that? Why to spend those innumerable nights without sleep? Why toil like a man possessed when the world is holidaying?
Lord Krishna said " as you sow, shall you reap". I know why he said that. People lived a good 150 years then and it is scientifically proven. (Lord Krishna was 80 years old and considered young during Mahabharata) He bloody had the time to wait for the seed to sprout, to stem. to grow and to fruit. Why do these laws still hold true when the lifespan of the average human has come down to a mere 70 odd years?
Now that doesn't mean you should not sow these days. had our forefather thought for a moment before bed every night, we would not have to fight with our own brethren for a piece of bread. 'As you sow, shall thou son reap'. This is just plain cheating.
Above that the famed altruists beg for the better good of everybody. Who everybody? All those somebodies who are incapable of fending for themselves? They say if each fend for himself, we are no less animals. One simple question to ask: Why the duck do you want to play God? The nature made these rules, just follow them. You used your 'intelligence' and see where we are? A piece of paper that you wave and call money, not a square inch of mother earth to call your own, tons of gunpowder you call strength. Your intelligence was a better moniker for your greed. Greed for more happiness, more comfort, more tangibles.
At the end of the day, you still sleep unsatisfied and make me do the same !